Sung by Quirrell (Brian Rosenthal ) and Voldemort (Joe Walker ) in "A Very Potter Musical ."


Quirrell: You won't sleep on your tummy

Voldemort: You won't sleep on your back

Both: We're quite a cooky couple, you'll agree. 

Quirrell: We share some hands and fingers

Voldemort: And yet, the feeling lingers

Both: We're just about as different as anyone can be.

Voldemort: You like plotting a garden, and I like plotting to kill.

Quirrell: You think that you should rule the world. I think books are a thrill. Sipping tea by the fire is swell. 

Voldemort: Pushing people in is fun as well. I like folding all my ties

Quirrell: And you have no friends. Hey! That's a surprise

Both: I guess it's plain to see, when you look at you and me, we're different, different as can be.

Voldemort: You're a sissy, a twat, a girl. I'm the darkest of lords.

Quirrell: I'm the brightest professor here. I've won several awards!

Voldemort: My new world is about to unfold.

Quirrell: You got beat by a two year-old.

Voldemort: I'll kill him this time, through and through

Quirrell: Or you might just give him another tattoo

Both: You really must agree when you look at you and me. We're different, different as can-

Voldemort: I'll rise again and I'll rule the world. But you must help me renew. For when our plan succeeds-

Quirrell: Prevails!

Voldemort: Part of that world goes to you

Quirrell: When I rule the world I'll plant flowers.

Voldemort: When I rule the world I'll have snakes

Voldemort (Quirrell):

And goblins and werewolves

(And Jane Austen novels)

A fleet of dementors and giants and thestrals and all my death eaters

Both: When I rule the world!