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'Gone to Oregon' is the opening number in Team StarKids' 2014 musical 'The Trail to Oregon' with lyrics by Jeff Blim and Dew De Four.

In it, the main family, made up of Father (Jeff Blim), Mother (Rachael Soglin), Son (Lauren Lopez), Daughter (Jaime Lynn Betty) and Grandfather (Corey Dorris), have their names chosen by the audience. These names remain throughout the show.

Lyrics:

Father (Mother, Daughter, Son, Grandpa):

Good-mornin'!

(Good-mornin'!)

We stand before the journey

That leads us all To Oregon

(To Oregon)

A pioneer adventure

Down the trail.

To Oregon

Mother, Daughter, Son (Grandpa):

To Oregon (To Wisconsin)

Father: 

(Spoken) Grandpa?

Grandpa:

(Spoken) What? My legs hurt.

Father:

By God's command We dare to land in Ore-

Grandpa:

Wisconsin

Father: 

(Spoken) We're going to Oregon, Grandpa.

Grandpa: (Spoken) Well I want to go to Wisconsin.

Father:

The promised land will not wait for us

We leave our home with faith and trust

We'll find the place of our destiny

And spread our family seed

Mother, Daughter, Son, Grandpa:

We'll find the place of our destiny

And spread our family seed

Father:

Now the show begins...

All:

Aauuhhmm...

Father: (Spoken, Live Version Only): Hey there Pioneers! You know, in the 1840s' folks of all kinds left their homes in the east and headed down the Trail to Oregon? Yep, whether they were Carpenters, Bankers, or heck, even Farmers. All three kinds of people. Yeah, it was Americas' original family road trip and today pioneers you've caught the Oregon fever. Now it's time to name your family, and take them down the trail. You excited? I'm excited. You excited? You look excited.

Father:

Now our journey begins in the 1800s

In a little city in Missouri

Before we start you decide on the names

Of all the people in our wagon party

You must decide who these pioneers are

Are they carpenters or bankers or leavin' their farm?

It's time to spin a personal yarn

Mother:

Carefully choose each name

Cause this is more than a game

All:

It's more than a game

Oh, yeah, it's more than a game

No two shows will ever be the same

Mother:

My first pioneer will be President Polk

I know he'd be a good leader of the wagon

Father:

Good job now, dear, that's what we're goin' for

You'd be extra careful not to kill him

Son:

I think I would use my mom and dad's names of course

So I'll make sure they'll never get divorced

Father:

That might be too much information

But hey, it's great to have a personal connection

Daughter:

I would make my family rich

They'd be bankers from New York

Father:

(Spoken) Good.

Son:

Richie, Johnny, Emily and Peter and Sue

Their bank fell down and now they're poor

Father:

That's great kids

Keep up the good work

Mother:

Hey, Grandpa

What would your names be?

Grandpa:

Oh, well let me tell ya:

Dicksuck, Dick-face, Hairy-Tit, and Dr. Buttnugget

Father:

(Spoken) Grandpa? What the hell is that supposed to be?

Grandpa:

(Spoken) They're names.

Father:

(Spoken) Hairy-Tit? Grandpa, you're setting a bad example for our pioneers here. You're gonna' make them think it's a good idea to name their wagon party stupid thing.

Grandpa:

(Spoken) Well they should. It'd be real funny.

All:

We are gone to Oregon It's the greatest family vacation

It'll bring us together

Couldn't think of nothin' better

Hey! Time for some family fun

On the trail to Oreg-un

(Dialogue, Fathers' name chosen)

Father:

I'm Jack Bauer, a farmer from Illinois

All my skills will be useless on the trail

My beautiful family is counting on me

A lot of pressure, I can't afford to fail

(Dialogue, Mothers' name chosen)

Mother:

I'm Slippery-When-Wet and I'm a mother of two

Could've been a banker, guess a farmer will do

Why did you get to choose?

(Dialogue, Daughter and Sons' name chosen)

Son:

Craphole, yeah that's me

I'm seven and I'm male

Daughter:

Mouthface, is what my friends call me

I'm looking for love on the trail

Son: 

(Spoken) Ew gross!

Daughter:

I hope you're bit by a snake!

Son:

I hope you break your back!

Father:

Hey, I found wild fruit!

Son:

Pay attention, Dad!

Daughter:

Can we just stop at the forts?

Father:

I forgot to shave

Mother:

Did we bring enough food?

Grandpa:

Can I write on Grandpa's grave?

Mother:

Everyone just behave!

Father:

Because it's only then a game

All:

It's only a game

I guess it's only a game

The Trail To Oregon is nothing but a game

We'll be there soon in Oreg-oon

Honestly, it beats milking cow tits

We could be in the kitchen

Doing something with a chicken

But we couldn't give less of a crap

Cause we're making it to Oreg-ap

(Dialogue, Grandfathers' name chosen)

It's time to run to Oreg-un

It's too late to change the show now

You could go next door

And see something professional

We wouldn't blame you a bit

If you're sitting through this Ore-shit

We're Broadway-bound in Oreg-ound

Cause there's no Broadway in Chicago

Who will forget their name

And who will get the YouTube fame?

These are questions to ask

When you're playing Oreg-ask...

It's more than a game...

Life is really great...

On the trail to Oreg-ate

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