Hey, Melissa! is a special episode of Nightmare Time. It was read live on October 9, 2022 as part of the Nerdy Prudes Must Die livestream segment of the StarKid Returns campaign.
Summary[]
Hey, Melissa!- A live reading of the never-before-seen Nightmare Time story: 'Hey, Melissa!' where Paul Matthews and his co-workers are in for a bizarre adventure involving a creep named Freddie and CCRP's bubbly office manager, Melissa.
Synopsis[]
The story opens with Melissa pushing her mail cart around CCRP's technical department. She makes conversation with Paul but he appears uninterested. After Melissa leaves, Bill reprimands him for his disinterested responses to Melissa's conversation. Bill talks about how he likes Melissa and how she reminds him of his daughter. The group are then approached by Ted who encourages Paul to make a move on Melissa before he does. Paul explains that he doesn't like Melissa because she likes cats too much.
Once the conversation ends, Ted tries to follow after Melissa but is stopped by Freddie Biggs who reminds him that Melissa's desk is under his jurisdiction in their agreed 'zones of sleaze'. Freddie then tells Ted that he's been after Melissa for a long time and that he won't let another man near her. That evening, Ted waits for Melissa in the CCRP parking garage while Freddie watches from his car.
The next day, Ted is gone. Melissa approaches Paul and invites him to come see Workin' Boys at the Starlight Theater with her but he declines. Their conversation is interrupted by the arrival of Emma with the office's order from Beanie's. Emma invites Paul to hate-watch Workin' Boys with her and he accepts upsetting Melissa. She is then approached by Freddie who says that he knows what Melissa wants with Paul and she tells him to leave her alone.
That evening, Paul is working late at CCRP when he's seemingly attacked by Freddie but is saved by Melissa knocking him out. As they go to try and find something to tie Freddie up with, Freddie awakens and tackles Melissa. The two run into CCRPs basement where Paul chokes Freddie until he's unconscious.
Paul takes Melissa back to her home where Melissa talks to Paul about how she believes he's a good person. Paul disagrees and tells her about how he caused the death of his dog Spot. Melissa is disgusted and leaves tell Paul to feed the dog as she does. Paul goes into Melissa's bedroom and thinks he hears the dog making noise inside the closet. However, when he opens the door he finds Ted in a cage. Ted reveals Melissa has forced him to act like a dog and that she cut off his fingers. Melissa then appears and tases Paul.
Paul wakes up tied to Melissa's coffee table. Melissa tells Paul that she believes he's a dog in a skin suit and that he has stolen his fingers. She then attempts to cut them off with piano wire but is stopped by Paul pretending to be a cat. Melissa is horrified at the thought of her almost declawing a cat. She then decides she's going to keep Paul as her pet.
A few days later, Melissa is at CCRP when Emma brings the coffee delivery. She questions Melissa about Paul as he hasn't been answering her calls or texts. Melissa tells Emma that the last time she saw Paul was in her bed as he licked her fingers clean with her tongue. Emma is hurt by this and tells Melissa to tell him to lose her number. Bill is overjoyed to hear that Melissa and Paul are seemingly together and questions when Paul will be coming back to work. Melissa tells him that Paul is quitting and moving to Clivesdale, which Bill doubts and thinks Paul is lying to Melissa.
That evening, Melissa has friends over and it's revealed that the three other girls also keep men as their pets and regularly kill them. Paul has the option to escape but is stopped by Ted barking, alerting his escape to the women. Paul is tased and locked in the cage. He is then forced to watch as the women kill Ted as they believe him to be 'rabid'. However, their 'girls night' is interrupted by Bill's arriving to speak to Melissa. As the Mina goes to attack Bill, Paul knocks her out with a the cage and then goes on to also knock out Aubrey and Krissy. Bill is horrified and tries to reprimand Paul but is tased by Melissa. Paul then throws the cage at Meliss and runs out into the street where he's hit by a car. Melissa is horrified and goes to tase the driver but is shot by Freddie, who is revealed to be an FBI agent.
When Paul wakes up in hospital, he is met by Freddie who tells him how he's been investigating Melissa and the Kitty-Cat Club for some time and that Paul helped him catch them. He then reveals that Melissa will be going to jail. Later, Freddie goes to Melissa's room to find that Nick's Hatchetfield Cop has neglected his post watching Melissa. While he was gone, Melissa vanished. It's revealed that Paul helped her escape and is now housing her at his home. When she wakes up, Paul tells Melissa that he'll go to work everyday but when he comes home he'll be Melissa's cat. He says he hopes he can be a good cat to her and she says he is.
Cast[]
Creative Team[]
| Crew Member | Job |
|---|---|
| Nick Lang | Writer |
| Matt Lang | Writer |
| Matt Dahan | Accompanist |