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Ja'far is the main character in StarKid's 2013 production of Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier, a parody of Aladdin that retells the story from his perspective. He is played by Dylan Saunders.


Ja'far is the Royal Vizier to the Sultan. He is a kind, selfless, misunderstood man, who simply wishes to restore his kingdom to its former glory.

Biography[]

ACT ONE[]

Ja'far is first seen a the beginning of the show, attempting to converse with the villagers of the Magic Kingdom, but he is instead harassed and verbally abused by them, since the villagers believe he is responsible for all the kingdom's problems (Dream a Little Harder).

Afterwards Ja'far confides in his bird, the smell of shit enters the room as the Captain of the Royal Guard enters covered in Crazy Hakim's discount fertilizer. The Captain tells Ja'far that he and the other guards were chasing after a thief. Said guards were then killed in their pursuit of the thief, before finally falling into the fertilizer, which resulted in even more guards either breaking their necks on impact or choking on shit. All of this... for a loaf of bread. Ja'far then tells the Captain about Prince Achmed who is coming from the land of Pik-zahr (Pixar) to extend the trade agreement between his kingdom and the Magic Kingdom. The Captain, upon hearing this, reveals how, earlier on, he saw the same thief throw a whip into the face of Achmed and proceeded to mock the Prince, saying that he'd never seen a horse with two rear ends. This concerns Ja'far and he asks for the name of the thief. The Captain reveals the name of the thief to be "Aladdin" and Ja'far declares that they must find the thief and have him arrested.

Ja'far leaves and soon arrives at the palace, where he sees a furious Prince Achmed. The Prince then shows Ja'far his pants, which are ripped, and his bare, bloody ass cheeks are exposed. He declares that instead of having breakfast with him like he was promised, the Princess instead had set a tiger upon him. Furious and humiliated, the Prince declares war on the Magic Kingdom. The Princess appears and Ja'far scolds her for her actions. He then leaves to fix her mistake.

Ja'far tries to think of a way to stop the war, but soon finds out that all his assistant viziers have been killed by the Royal Guard, who were ordered by the Sultan to put the viziers into burlap sacks, beat them to death and throw them out of the highest tower in the palace. Furious, Ja'far snaps and destroys the room in his rage, but then finds a golden pendant, containing half of a scarab ("Sands of Time").

Ja'far begins to think about his past, where he was once loved by the village, and teached them lessons on how to be kind to one another ("The Golden Rule"). After teaching the villagers the golden rule, he then goes to the palace and bumps into the Royal Vizier, who was a corrupt and evil man who only cared about money ("The Golden Rule (Evil Reprise)"). After the terrible encounter, the young Ja'far meets Sherrezade, who's ear had been cut off by a nobleman who didn't like her face. offers to help Sherrezade by re-attaching the ear. Sherrezade, appreciating this gesture, proceeds to tell Ja'far of the story of the Tiger Head Cave, a cave that is filled with wonders beyond your wildest dreams: forbidden treasure, a rug possessed with the soul of a lecherous thief and perhaps the greatest treasure of them all: a common oil lamp, which despite it's ordinary appearance, is actually the prison of a Djinn, a shapeshifter who will grant three wishes to anyone who rubs his lamp (he's also really funny).

Ja'far finishes attaching the ear and Sherrezade, impressed with his abilities, asks if he is a sorcerer. Ja'far denies this claim and states that he is a man of science, believing in only what he can touch and feel, and therefore doesn't believe in the Tiger Head Cave. Sherrezade then tells Ja'far that he can't see it, because the cave remains hidden to all but those who possess the key. She then hands him her pendant, which contains one half of a golden scarab, and half the key to the Tiger Head Cave. She then tells him that the cave was once sealed by two lovers who were then transformed into one golden scarab. The cave will only reopen when the two halves of the scarab become one, and the lovers are reunited once more. Ja'far finds her story to be beautiful and Sherrezade tells him that although he claims to only believe in what he can touch and feel, magic does nothing if not touch the soul and there's no greater feeling than that. Ja'far finds her words to be wise, and begins to believe she may be right.

As Ja'far and Sherrezade get to know each other more, they fall in love and Ja'far propose to her mere minutes after they first met (took him long enough) ("A Thousand And One Nights"). Years later, Ja'far takes his wife Sherrezade (who has just told him that she's pregnant) to the Sultan to talk about a land reform bill, but, after telling the story of how he made his penis an "innie", the Sultan falls in love with Sherrezade and has her taken to his harem. Before they are seperated, she gives him the golden scarab pendant, and says that they will be reunited, like the lovers in her story about the Tiger Head Cave.

Returning to the present, Ja'far reflects on his past and his mistakes, and mourns the death of his wife ("If I Believed"). The Captain then informs Ja'far that the Princess has run away. The guards eventually find her with Aladdin, who gets thrown into prison. The Captain of the Royal Guard then tells the Princess that it was Ja'far's orders to capture Aladdin, which causes her to become furious with Ja'far.

Meanwhile, Ja'far retrieves the other half of the golden scarab from a corrupt merchant. He bails Aladdin out of jail to go to the Tiger Head Cave, to retrieve the Djinn's lamp. Ja'far (along with Aladdin and the Princess) then sing about what he wants most, a happy ending for all ("Happy Ending"). Aladdin then tricks Ja'far and takes the lamp away from him. The act ends with Ja'far screaming in agony, as the thief rides off on a magic carpet, with the stolen lamp in his possession.

ACT TWO[]

In Act 2, it is shown that the Princess is still mad at Ja'far and attempted to poison his drink during dinner, before hiding in her bedroom (which is actually her way of asking him to talk to her). Ja'far and the Princess then have a heart-to-heart about Aladdin, and Ja'far warns her about him and how a man's song is usually a way to trick young girls like herself into having sex with them, since a song is a dick in sheep's clothing. The Captain of the Royal Guard then interrupts them and tells Ja'far about a parade. Ja'far, speculating the parade was Aladdin's doing, leaves the Princess' room with the Captain.

Back at the palace, Ja'far consults with the Sultan, who confirms that Aladdin will marry the Princess, and he will bring his armies (which he doesn't actually have). Ja'far tries to expose Aladdin as the thief he is, but Aladdin, not wanting his cover to be blown, tricks everyone into thinking Ja'far is actually a sorcerer. Ja'far, disappointed in the Princess for falling for Aladdin's lies, escapes using chemical reaction and steals the lamp from Aladdin while he is distracted.

Ja'far successfully escapes and begins to ponder on what to do next. Just then, the spirit of a sea witch named Ursula appears. Ja'far then recognizes her and tells her that he knows her from Sherrazade's stories, to which Ursula replies, "You think you know me, as others think they know you, but there are two sides to every story". Ursula then continues, showing that she too have gone down this same, twisted path as Ja'far, being a genuinely good person who was misunderstood by many and died without anyone knowing the truth. Ja'far is then visited by several other spirits of previous "villains", who reveal that they too are all actually good (all except for Cruella De Vil, who genuinely wanted to make a coat out of puppies). After shooing Cruella offstage, Ursula then tells Ja'far that what he's experiencing is an unfortunate situation, but he does have a choice. She and the other "villlains" then disappear, leaving Ja'far all alone to think. After much thought, Ja'far accepts the fact that he must take the "twisted" path in order to save everyone, and embraces the fact that he will be remembered as evil as he rubs the Djinn's lamp.

The next day, Prince Achmed's army prepares to storm the palace and attack the Sultan, but before they could do so, Ja'far shows up revealing that he used his first wish from the Djinn to make him the new Sultan of the Magic Kingdom, so Achmed's army has to fight him instead. He then summons the Djinn again and wishes to become an actual sorcerer. His wish is granted and he begins to fight off Achmed's army, using his new magic powers.

The Princess flees from the palace to go find Aladdin. However, when she does find him, Aladdin attempts to sleep with her. It was at this moment that the Princess realized that Ja'far was right about Aladdin all along and tells him that she'll never have sex with him, angering him in the process. When Ja'far finds the two, Aladdin then takes the Princess hostage.

Because he loves her like a daughter, Ja'far then tells Aladdin not to hurt the Princess. Ja'far then remembers his own wife and how she died during childbirth after being impregnated by the Sultan and giving birth to the Princess. Just then, Ja'far realizes that Sherrazade, who was still pregnant when she was forced into the Sultan's harem, couldn't be impregnated by the Sultan, due to his inverted penis. Because of this, Ja'far is able to figure out that his and Sherrazade's unborn child was actually the Princess, meaning Ja'far was the Princess' real father all along. After this revelation, he asks Aladdin if he had loved anyone like family, which causes Aladdin to remember his parents, whom he unknowingly killed. It is then revealed that Aladdin was actually a psychopath with two personalities, one of which was responsible for killing his parents.

Aladdin then tells Ja'far that he'll give him the Princess, if he gives him the Djinn's lamp. Ja'far agrees and Aladdin lets the Princess go. Aladdin then tries to get the lamp, but before he could do so, Ja'far uses his final wish to take the Djinn's place. This sets the Djinn free and transforms Ja'far into a powerful Djinn. Aladdin, upset that his plan had failed and terrified by Ja'far's new form, runs off.

Ja'far then gives his lamp to the Princess, as he trust her to do the right thing. Ja'far then tells the Princess that after he grants her three wishes, he and the lamp must return to the Tiger Head Cave. This upsets the Princess, but Ja'far assures her that even when he is no longer with her, she'll have the power to do great things, and that no matter what he'll always love her ("The Power In Me"). The Princess then rubs his lamp and makes her three wishes. She uses her first wish to end the war with Pik-zahr peacefully. She then wishes that the Magic Kingdom had a Sultan who would make it the happiest place on Earth again. She then sadly wishes that Ja'far didn't have to go, but he informs her that is one wish he cannot grant. So instead, the Princess uses her third and final wish to give Ja'far every happiness. Ja'far grants her wishes, and smiles fondly at his daughter, before returning to the Tiger Head Cave.

Ja'far is then shown back at the Tiger Head Cave, where Sherrezade greets him, saying that his wish for happiness was granted, bringing her back to reside with Ja'far inside his lamp. Sherrezade then tells Ja'far about how their daughter, the Princess, brought on the third prophesied golden age and saved the kingdom from ruin. Ja'far ponders at how Sherrezade knows this and Sherrezade reveals that the lamp can visually project future and past events. She then uses this function to show Ja'far what happened to Aladdin, where he learns that Aladdin is now a merchant (the same one from the beginning of the original movie) and has turned to unsuccessfully selling second hand goods. Sherrezade says that he does this until he is 55, where he is ironically killed by a thief over a loaf of bread. Ja'far then asks how their story ends, and Sherrazade says it doesn't. They happily kiss, and the cast all comes together as the musical ends ("Finale/A Thousand And One Nights Reprise").