Linda Monroe (née Murray) is a character in the Hatchetfield Universe. She features in Black Friday, Honey Queen and Workin' Boys. She is mentioned in Nerdy Prudes Must Die. Linda is the wife of Gerald Monroe and the mother of Trent, Seaton, Jordan, and River Monroe. She is played by Lauren Lopez.
| Production | Played by | Song | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Black Friday | Lauren Lopez | What Do You Say | ||
| Our Doors Are Open | ||||
| Feast or Famine | ||||
| Monsters and Men | ||||
| Adore Me | ||||
| Wiggle | ||||
| Nightmare Time | Season 2 | Honey Queen | Queen B | |
| Workin' Boys | None | |||
Black Friday[]
Linda, like many of the other characters in the main cast, arrived at Lakeside Mall wanting to buy a Tickle-Me Wiggly doll (or in Linda's case, four. One for each of her "four beautiful blonde boys").
Linda is first seen walking to the mall, while talking on the phone with her husband, Gerald Monroe, who is waiting for Linda in their car across the street with one of their sons, River. Outside of Toy Zone, a massive line has formed, full of people eager to buy a Wiggly doll. Linda arrived late, but was able to buy her way ahead in line by bribing the Corrupt Man and cutting in front of him. Becky Barnes attempts to protest against this, but Linda, recognizing Becky as her rival from high school, taunts her by talking about Becky's abusive ex-husband, Stanley, and how he left her. She then states that she hates Becky, not just because she's naive, but "because she's so weak". She then goes back to talking with her husband on the phone. Tom Houston then shows up and, recognizing Becky, tries to catch up with her. Noticing this interaction, Linda, like many of the shoppers in line, begin to gossip about Tom and Becky's relationship (through the song "What Do You Say").
Lex then comes out to open the doors and everyone in line enters the store. All goes smoothly until a creepy middle-aged man, Sherman Young, tries to buy all the Wiggly dolls in the store for himself, much to Linda's disgust. Frank, being the greedy man he is, obliges to Sherman's request, until Linda steps in and complains that, even if Sherman does have the money to do so, it is unfair and tells him that he'll be hearing from her lawyer, Gary Goldstein (who also happens to be in line). Following that threat and the growing anger of the crowd, Frank decides to set a policy that customers can only buy one Wiggly each. While most of the crowd is okay with this policy, Linda is upset again, as she wanted to buy four Wigglys. Sherman, who is also upset by this policy, tells Frank that he'll now be hearing from his lawyer, who is also Gary Goldstein. Gary then steps in to try to protest this new rule on the behalf of Sherman, before Linda knees him in the "subpoena" and sends him back in line. Another customer steps in and starts a bidding war for the Wiggly dolls. This angers Curt's Shopper, who snatches a Wiggly for himself, causing a riot to break out. Linda and the other customers begin assaulting each other and the Toy Zone staff to grab the dolls. Eventually, the mob overpowers Frank and takes over the store.
In the chaos, Linda managed to escape from the mob, but was unable to get a hold of a Wiggly. Linda is then approached by Uncle Wiley, the creator of the Wiggly dolls. While initially hostile towards the strange man, Linda is convinced by him to let her guard down as he promises to fulfill her desire to be adored. Linda accepts his offer and becomes the "prophet" to the real Wiggly (an evil eldritch being). Linda later appears at the end of Act 1, singing alongside Wiley.
In Act 2, it is revealed that the brainwashed customers formed their own cult dedicated to Wiggly, with Linda as their leader. The cult had captured Frank and Lex, who they believe have hidden a doll somewhere in the mall. Linda reveals that in order to bring Wiggly to their dimension, she needs a Wiggly doll to act as "a vessel for his essence" (although, she still really wants four of them for her kids). Anxious, Frank asks Linda to spare his life, "for the love of God", to which Linda replies, "I've met God, he had nothing nice to say about you" and kills Frank. Linda then receives word that Lex had given her sister, Hannah, her backpack, which contains a Wiggly doll (Lex planned to sell the doll online, so she could get enough money to move to California with Hannah and her boyfriend, Ethan). Linda then orders her followers to find and bring Hannah to her, despite Lex's pleas.
Hannah and Becky, after being captured by the cult, are brought before Linda, who proceeds to mock Becky again, but is disappointed to find her knocked out, so she has her cultists carry her away. Linda then takes Hannah's backpack, but when she doesn't find a doll in there, she begins to question Hannah, while threatening her with a knife. Lex then arrives with the missing doll and uses its hold on the cult to distract them long enough, so Tom can sneak up behind Linda with a gun. Lex threatens to burn the doll, causing Linda to freak out, overpower Tom and take the doll from Lex. Believing she's won, Linda leads the cult in worship of Wiggly. As the cult prepares to create the portal for Wiggly, Becky shows up and shoots Linda in the head with a gun, killing her. Gary Goldstein, who was a member of Linda's cult, takes hold of his former client's body and calls up Gerald, telling him that they need to discuss her will. He then carries her offstage, while a group of mourning cultists watch.
Jane's A Car[]
Linda is mentioned by Tom Houston in Jane's A Car when he questions why Jane can't just kill and possess the body of someone who deserves it such as Linda. Jane then asks Tom if he thinks Linda is attractive.
Honey Queen[]
Linda first appears when she stops her son River from putting a fork in a plug socket after being encouraged by his brothers Trent, Seaton and Jordan. Linda then instructs the boys to get ready to visit their grandfather Roman Murray. After encouraging her husband Gerald to get ready, Linda and the rest of the Monroe Family travel to the Murray Estate to have dinner with Roman. While dining, the family begin to discuss the upcoming Honey Festival, Linda insults the Honey Queen and her father reprimands her for it, using her childhood nickname, "Piggy". This irritates Linda, but her father continues to do it. Later, as the Monroes are driving home, Gerald says he dislikes how Roman insults Linda while praising the Honey Queen. This prompts Linda to decide to run in the pageant.
Days later, Linda appears at the Hatchetfield Community Center to apply for the pageant. As she's about to sign up, Zoey Chambers cuts in front of Linda and applies for the contest. Linda tries to say she's not allowed to compete, but Zoey mocks her and warns her not to fuck with her, as she's "[Linda's] worst nightmare". Later that night, Gerald finds Linda in the garden practicing twirling a baton for the skills section of the contest. Linda is upset as she feels like a failure and Gerald comforts her, reminding her of how she sabotaged a Snow Bunny Broad to win a skiing competition. This prompts Linda to begin sabotaging her competition in the pageant.
Linda is then shown sabotaging her competition in a number of ways: Chloe Patterson she strands on a boat trip, Martha Wright she prevents from getting collagen injections and Liz Cunningham she spreads rumours about how she's from Clivesdale forcing her to be encouraged to drop out of the contest. Soon, there's only one person left on her list: Zoey.
The next day, Linda pays her private investigator Malone to spy on Zoey and her boyfriend Sam Sweetly. Malone then takes pictures of Zoey and Sam together which he then gives to Linda the next day. That evening, Zoey and Linda attends rehearsals for the pageant, led by the volunteer director Professor Hidgens. After rehearsal, Linda approaches Zoey and shows her the photos Malone took, threatening to show them to her grandmother.
The next day, Linda is horrified to discover that Zoey hasn't dropped out of the competition and to learn that Zoey's grandmother died. She starts to formulate a new plan. Linda employs the help of the Homeless Man and he and Gerald visit Zoey at Beanie's. The Homeless Man pretends to be a Broadway casting director and Gerald pretends to be his assistant. The two pretend to be looking for a lead for a new Broadway show, prompting Zoey to want to prove herself to him. Linda pays people entering the coffee shop to tip Zoey, causing her to continue to sing all day, wearing out her voice.
The next evening, Zoey is sitting in a dressing room attempting to get her voice to come back after Linda's plan when she's approached by Linda who reveals she sent the Homeless Man to pose as a casting director to purposefully get Zoey to spend the day singing. Later, the Honey Queen Pageant begins, with the first section being the questions portion of the show. While Hidgens asks the other girls questions, Zoey slips off stage and threatens the Cineplex Teen into giving her an easy question, which she answers flawlessly, quickly getting the crowd on her side. She also gets him to give Linda a difficult question. Linda struggles with the question and promises to fund Hidgens' musical Workin' Boys if he helps her. He does, but Linda fails to get the crowd on her side.
The next section of the pageant is the talent portion. Linda arrives on stage to perform, she does a rap and dance routine, and the crowd goes wild. Zoey is horrified, thinking she's lost the pageant, when she begins to formulate a plan; she gets Sam to kidnap River. Zoey uses Linda's love for her son to try and blackmail her into dropping out of the competition.
While distracting Zoey, Linda is able to grab a baton and hits Zoey over the head with it, sending the girl's phone flying. The two begin to fight in the dark shadows of the Starlight Theater. Meanwhile, Gerald goes to the bathroom to look for River and receives a call from Linda who tells him that River has been kidnapped by Sam. Linda tells Gerald to go and find River in the squad car. Gerald goes outside, but is unable to find the car, as it's an undercover car. He calls Linda and tells her so. Linda is annoyed, but then discovers Zoey's phone next to her. She texts Sam and instructs him to honk and then get out of the car.
Later, Linda is hiding under a workbench when she is discovered by Zoey, who tries to hit Linda with a fire extinguisher. Zoey misses, hitting her own phone instead. While Zoey mourns her phone, Linda runs and begins to climb up a ladder to the catwalk above the stage. Zoey follows her. Linda and Zoey fight on the catwalk, with Linda wrapping a rope around Zoey's neck. Zoey manages to throw Linda over the catwalk so she's hanging on only by her hands. Zoey stamps on Linda's hand, breaking her fingers and causing her to be forced to only hang on by one hand. Zoey gloats at Linda, saying she wants her to die knowing she will be Honey Queen. However, as Zoey gloats, Linda grabs the sandbag attached to the end of the rope around Zoey's neck and throws it over the catwalk, causing Zoey to be lifted into the air and hung. Linda pulls herself back onto the catwalk and gets a text from Gerald telling her that River is ok.
After the talent portion ends, the judges announce the winner of the pageant: Linda. The woman is overjoyed and rings her husband telling him that she won, not knowing he's dead. Linda is then approached by her father, who congratulates her on her victory and tells the girl to come with him.
Roman takes Linda in his car into Witchwood Forest. Linda questions where they're going, and Roman explains how they're going to a ceremony of the Church of the Starry Children. Linda gets out the car and finds a gathering of people in long black cloaks surrounding a pile of dead pigs. Linda is horrified and watches as the pigs' flesh melts and combines to form the body of Nibbly, who then eats the woman, ending the reign of Linda as honey queen.
Nerdy Prudes Must Die[]
Linda is mentioned in Nerdy Prudes Must Die, when Gerald calls her and asks her to call his lawyer as he's being accused of murder.
Workin' Boys[]
Linda appears in the audience of Workin' Girls as the Starlight Theater. She and Gerald drink boxes of wine together as they watch the show. Linda is overjoyed to discover that Professor Hidgens has murdered the cast of Workin' Girls. When Hidgens kills Ted Spankoffski, Linda hides behind the seats, but following Hidgens’ death she returns to her seat and applauds.
Personality and Traits[]
Linda is an extremely driven and objective-focused woman; she is also extremely selfish, believing herself to be superior to everyone else as well as believing herself to be infallible. Her life has always been dominated by her need to be loved due to her father's standoffish and neglectful nature. Like many people in Hatchetfield, Linda has people she loves and cares about and wants to protect, but she often does this in a more eccentric and atypical manner. Linda has a more open parenting style, allowing her boys to grow on their own while still keeping them out of trouble if the time comes. She has obvious favorites amongst her children but indeterminate boundaries for her love. Linda is not a loyal person, especially in her marriage, and has had numerous affairs with different men in Hatchetfield. Linda is also very susceptible to desire, normally acting greedy and not resisting the amplification of these traits when in contact with the forces of The Black and White.
Skills[]
- Mothering- Linda prides herself on being an exceptionally good mother.
- Skiing- Linda is able to ski and won a competition for it (though she had to sabotage someone else to do it).
Relationships[]
Gerald Monroe[]
Linda and Gerald in Honey Queen
Gerald Monroe is Linda's husband. He deeply cares for her and is irritated by how she is treated by Roman Murray. He accepts and loves Linda despite her wild ambition and the occasionally violent ways of getting what she wants (which he even finds attractive). Gerald appears to be unaware of the fact that Linda is cheating on him with multiple men. Despite not outwardly showing it often, Linda does truly care about Gerald. Gerald and Linda are a good match for each other as they are both easily inclined to evil[1].
Linda and Roman in Honey Queen.
Roman Murray[]
Roman Murray is Linda's father. The two have a very strained relationship as Roman spends much of his time mocking Linda and calling her the name "Piglet" or "Piggy" which she hates. Roman acts extremely patronising to Linda, treating her like a child. He also doesn't view Linda as worthy of his respect and Linda yearns to impress him and earn it. Despite Linda being his daughter, Roman cares more about the Honey Queen than her.
Linda and Becky in the line outside Toy Zone in Black Friday
Becky Barnes[]
Linda Monroe has a great dislike for Becky. She has disliked her since high school as she couldn't understand why Becky was so nice[1]. Linda often mocks and degrades Becky.
In Black Friday, Linda and Becky's relationship is defined by Linda mocking her which clearly affects Becky. However, Becky ultimately ends up killing her.
Linda and Zoey in Honey Queen
Zoey Chambers[]
Zoey Chambers is Linda's enemy and rival in the Honey Queen Pageant. The two are both ruthlessly ambitious and are willing to do whatever it takes to beat the other at the pageant. Their relationship consists of insulting the other and crafting elaborate plans in the hope of getting the other to drop out of the pageant. The two hate each other and it ultimately ends with Zoey dying.
Gary Goldstein[]
Gary and Linda in Black Friday
Gary Goldstein is Linda's lawyer and lover. Linda uses Gary's status as a lawyer to threaten people into doing what she wants. Gary and Linda also partake in an affair with each other[2]
Linda and Wilbur in Black Friday
Wilbur Cross[]
Wilbur Cross is Linda's co-conspirator. Wilbur approaches Linda in order to recruit her as the prophet of Wiggly and the leader of his cult. There is a lot of sexual tension between the two and it is suspected they slept together[3].
Linda and River in Honey Queen
River Monroe[]
River Monroe is Linda's youngest and favourite son. Linda protects River from the bullying of his brothers and comforts him when they upset him. River knows a lot about Linda including about her affairs yet keeps them a secret for her.
Linda and Trent in Honey Queen
Trent Monroe[]
Trent Monroe is Linda's son. Unlike River, Linda doesn't care much for Trent and was willing to consider letting him be kidnapped become Honey Queen. Linda is very harsh with her punishments for him, especially when he bullies River.
Seaton Monroe[]
Seaton Monroe is Linda's son. She doesn't like Seaton as much as her other sons such as River. Linda is annoyed at Seaton as she caught him attempting to buy a Playboy magazine.
Linda and Jordan in Honey Queen
Jordan Monroe[]
Jordan Monroe is Linda's son. Linda doesn't like him as much as she likes her son River.
Emma Perkins[]
Linda and Emma Perkins know each other. Linda isn't a fan, but that's just because she hates most people.[4]
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Trivia[]
- Linda has hated Becky since high school: Becky was an upbeat, popular, well-liked cheerleader, whereas Linda was a spoiled, mean, rich girl. People like Becky because she's nice, and Linda can't comprehend that.[5]
- Linda knows Tom Houston.[6]
- Tom may or may not be physically attracted to Linda, as in Nightmare Time Episode 3 in Jane's a Car, when Jane is trying to find a new body and wants someone Tom thinks is attractive, he suggests Linda (although he says this while trying to find someone he thinks is evil, as he isn't fond of killing people).
- Linda is the third blonde-haired Starkid character to be played by Lauren Lopez, after Draco Malfoy and Craphole from Trail to Oregon.
- When writing the relationship between Linda and Gerald, Nick and Matt wanted it to have a "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf feel".
- Lauren and Nick bought multiple options for her Honey Queen Festival gown and picked final one as the sleeves looked like a cape.
- Nick was unable to find a baton for Linda's baton training so they used a curtain rod.
- Linda was the only person to audition for Workin' Boys and not get a role.
- Jane Perkins was Linda's Psychiatrist.
- There was a cut Nightmare Time story about Linda called A Fabulous Mother.
References[]
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Nick Lang said this in the live chat of Nightmare Time 2: Episode 1
- ↑ https://twitter.com/LaurenLopez1/status/1234547996345368576
- ↑ Said by Nick Lang in the Black Friday commentary
- ↑ https://twitter.com/whoops_kimmo/status/1252996821925986306
- ↑ https://twitter.com/isolatedkitykat/status/1248178812959031302
- ↑ https://twitter.com/isolatedkitykat/status/1248178812959031302