Team StarKid Wiki
Team StarKid Wiki

The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is the eleventh original online musical from Team StarKid. It is the first installment in the Hatchetfield series. It ran from October 11th to November 4th, 2018, at the Matrix Theatre in Los Angeles. The entire show was released for free on YouTube on December 23rd, 2018. The cast album was released on December 24th, 2018 on iTunes and Amazon Music.


The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals is a horror-comedy show following Paul, an ordinary guy who doesn’t like musicals, and his friends/co-workers, as the world around them becomes a musical.


Act 1[]

The show opens with several characters who take to the stage as they sing the opening number ("The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals"), which sets up for the rest of the show. At the end of the song, they vanish only to reveal Paul and his co-workers, Bill and Charlotte at their office.

The scene depicts a typical day at the office, as Paul works hard to get his reports on Mr. Davidson's desk by the end of the day, his mundane conversations with co-workers, followed by a trip to the local coffee shop, Beanies, to visit his crush, Emma Perkins

The setting shifts to Beanie's, a singing coffee shop across the street from Starbucks. Emma is introduced by her boss, who threatens to fire her when Emma doesn't sing for a tipping customer. Paul and Emma exchange a few words, with the conversation exhibiting their rather amusing awkwardness and chemistry. When Emma is forced to attend to an obnoxious teen, Paul walks out of Beanie's only for him cross paths with a ("annoying", as Paul recognizes her as) Greenpeace Canvasser. Amid their heated discussion, a storm appears, revealing unusual changes in the weather. The scene goes on to showcase various characters as they observe this strange shift in the air. Each character is intricately interlinked, with moments foreshadowing their doom ahead. 

The next scene opens up with Paul making his way to work, where he notices people dancing in the street. He passes by the same Greenpeace girl who bursts out in a song along with other town members of Hatchetfield (La Dee Dah Dah Day). 

Paul arrives at work, confused, paranoid, and extremely uncomfortable. He gets called to his boss's office, of which starts singing, questioning his most profound hopes and desires (What Do You Want, Paul?). 

Paul flees to Beanies to get some coffee. Emma dismisses his fears that the world is becoming a musical as she runs to sing a tip song with her co-workers (Cup of Roasted Coffee). Throughout the song, Emma shows her discontent with her position, and gets more frustrated when she finds her co-workers have added extra steps to their dance number. Emma decides to quit her job, making a huge scene. However, she is taken aback to find her co-workers acting in a trance-like state and finds they have poisoned their customers' coffee with some sort of "goo" as she mentions in Cup of Poisoned Coffee. Immediately, everyone at Beanies begins to dance and sing in harmony, aside from Paul and Emma who run out of the cafe in fear.

Paul and Emma escape to an alleyway, where coincidentally Paul's co-workers Bill, Charlotte and Ted have taken shelter too in the trash bins. Charlotte phoned her husband Sam, a cop, to save them. However, when he and two other cops arrive, they also seem to be in a trance-like state, singing and chasing Paul and his frightened friends around the stage (Show Me Your Hands). In self-defense, Ted slams a trashcan lid on Sam's head, causing his brain to fall out and his tranced backup cops to flee the scene. Charlotte demands they take Sam to a hospital, but the others point out that it is not safe as the singing zombies seem to be infesting the area. Emma suggests they visit Professor Hidgens, a "kooky, reclusive" biology professor from her community college, who has been spent the last 30 years of his life preparing for a doomsday.

At Hidgens' safehouse, the professor investigates the blue goo that leaks out of Sam's head as the others get a drink from the professor's pantry. Ted and Charlotte are left out with a passed out and tied-up Sam. Ted and Charlotte argue about Charlotte's reluctance to let Sam go to be with Ted. Soon, Ted leaves, as Charlotte desperately prays for Sam to wake up. Her wish comes true as Sam wakes up singing to her about all the good times they had and apologising for being unfaithful to her (You Tied Up My Heart). He begs her to untie him, which she eventually does, allowing Sam to kill and infect her.

In Hidgens' liquor pantry, tensions rise as Ted and Bill argue over Bill's reluctance to drink. Meanwhile, Emma and Paul talk about their past and crack a few jokes. Suddenly, Charlotte and Sam appear, breaking into song and attempting to kill the others (Join Us (and Die)). The day is saved by Professor Hidgens who comes in with a shotgun, killing Sam and Charlotte. He explains his discovery that the blue goo is not of this Earth, that they are aliens, 'wearing our skin to fool us!" Bill receives an unexpected call from his daughter, who is trapped in the high school choir room surrounded by the infected. Bill and Paul leave to find her as the others stay behind to help find a cure.

Act 2[]

When Paul and Bill arrive at Hatchetfield High, Bill laments over his failed relationship with his wife, and his fight with Alice over her girlfriend, Deb. Paul reassures him that everything will be okay, only to find that Alice, Deb and many other students in the school have also been infected. Alice begins to sing about the anguish she felt over her parents' divorce, viciously attacking all her father's fears and insecurities (Not Your Seed). As a result, Bill tries to kill himself, but is stopped by Paul... only for Bill to be murdered by his infected daughter. The aliens then turn to Paul, when the army infiltrates the school scaring them away. They then knock Paul out, unsure if he's one of the infected.

Back in the laboratory, Hidgens and Emma attempt to decipher how the infected all work in harmony. Hidgens figures out that all the infected are controlled like a hivemind by a single brain, which Emma assumes to be the meteor that came down the night before. She shares her hypothesis with Hidgens, when he suddenly knocks Emma unconscious by injecting her with a sedative. 

Meanwhile, Paul wakes up and meets General John McNamara, a member of the United States Military special unit PEIP.  He tells Paul that his mission is "to make a clean sweep of what was once your town. No loose ends. No survivors." Instead, he decides to let Paul go, telling him of a helicopter that is set to pick up the squad in an hour. He also gives Paul his gun, and agrees to meet with him and Emma in an hour.

Meanwhile, at Hidgens' safehouse, Ted and Emma awake to find themselves bound to chairs. The professor tells them of his plans to join the aliens by singing, which attracts the infected. In a dramatic gusto, he unveils his much more profound passion: musical theatre, and tells the duo about a musical he has been writing (Show Stoppin' Number). Towards the end and during his song, two aliens appear at his house and sing along. Distracted, they don't notice Paul, who has arrived just in time to save Emma and Ted. They escape as the aliens rip out the professor's intestines.

As Paul, Ted and Emma make their escape, Paul gets captured by one of the aliens, and Emma runs after him. Ted bolts down the opposite direction and runs into the army, but the military has been infected, and they kill Ted. When Paul and Emma return, they find Ted and the army singing and dancing (America Is Great Again). Luckily, they fight through the crowd of infected people, and escape to the helicopter. However, mid-flight, Zoey - Emma's infected manager - reveals herself as the pilot, and pulls a gun on them. Paul kicks the gun away, only for Zoey to shoot the rotor blades, which causes them to crash. Parts of the broken helicopter stab Emma's leg, and she tells Paul to destroy the meteor and kill the aliens. 

At the Starlight Theatre, the aliens anticipate Paul's arrival, with familiar faces like Hidgens, Nora and Mr. Davidson chanting his name (Let Him Come). Paul finally arrives. But as he grabs a grenade, the infected reveal themselves, and bids Paul to join them (Let It Out). Paul's proximity to the meteor, along with the high concentration of infectious spores in the air, compels Paul to sing. Nevertheless, he succeeds in pulling the grenade's pin, destroying the meteor, the infected, and himself. 

Two weeks pass by, and a news report reveals that there are no survivors. Unbeknownst to everyone, Emma recovers at a hospital in Clivesdale. She is discharged with a new identity, and the deed to a 5-acre plot of land in Colorado to start her dream pot farm. Colonel Schaeffer then reveals that Emma will be escorted to Colorado by Ben Bridges, who turns out to be Paul. As Emma and Paul embrace, he begins to sing, revealing that Paul has indeed been infected and that soon the rest of humanity will be killed and assimilated by the aliens (Inevitable). The rest of the cast join him as they dance their final number, a medley of all the songs in the musical, all the while Emma begs with the audience to stop clapping and save her. Once the cast has taken their final bow, they drag Emma off backstage. 

The apotheosis is upon us!


The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals has 8 cast members. Both Jon Matteson and Mariah Rose Faith make their debut appearance in a Starkid production.

Actor (*) Character
Jaime Lyn Beatty Charlotte, Nora, Deb, Jaime's Hatchetfield Citizen, Jaime's PEIP Soldier, Colonel Schaffer
Jeff Blim Mr K. Davidson, Man In A Hurry, Sam, Jeff's Hatchetfield Citizen, General John McNamara, Greg
Corey Dorris Bill, Corey's Hatchetfield Citizen, Stu, Corey's PEIP Soldier
Mariah Rose Faith Melissa, Zoey, Greenpeace Girl, Alice, Doug, Mariah's PEIP Soldier, Nurse
Lauren Lopez Emma, Smoke Club Girl, Donna Daggit, The Hatchetfield Bee
Robert Manion Professor Hidgens, Hot Chocolate Boy, Dan Reynolds, Robert's Hatchetfield Citizen, Robert's Hatchetfield Cop, Robert's PEIP Soldier
Jon Matteson Paul Matthews
Joey Richter Ted, Danny, Joey's Hatchetfield Citizen, Joey's PEIP Soldier, Rod

(*) Bold names denote the actor's onstage Starkid debut

All characters can be found here.

Additional Crew[]

Crew Member Job
Matt Dahan Music Direction
Ilana Elroi Sound Design, Engineering
Paul Gabriel Stage Manager
Nick Lang Producer, Director
Corey Lubowich Scenic Design, Producer
Sarah Petty Lighting Design
Amy Plouff Senic Charge
Brian Rosenthal Sound Design
June Saito Costume Design
Jade Svenson Wardrobe/Deck Hand
Hatchetfield High School Band (Pit)
Matt Dahan Keyboard 1
Josh Fleury Bass
Sam Johnides Guitar, Keyboard 2
Ryan McDiarmid Drums


Act 1 Song Sung By Duration
The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals Ensemble 4:05
La Dee Dah Dah Day Greenpeace Girl, Homeless Man, Ensemble 3:17
What Do You Want, Paul? Mr. Davidson 3:11
Cup of Roasted Coffee Nora, Zoey, Emma 1:38
Cup of Poisoned Coffee Nora, Zoey, Ensemble 0:33
Show Me Your Hands Sam, Ensemble 2:24
You Tied up My Heart Sam 3:35
Join Us (And Die) Charlotte, Sam 2:01
Act 2 Not Your Seed Alice, Ensemble 3:23
Show Stoppin Number Professor Hidgens, Greg and Stu 5:19
America Is Great Again General McNamara, Ensemble 2:11
Let Him Come Ensemble 0:38
Let It Out Paul, Ensemble 3:27
Inevitable Paul, Ensemble 2:57


2019 Los Angeles Broadway World Awards - Local[]

The show was also nominated for, but did not win:


  • Parts of TGWDLM are inspired by the 1999 comedy Office Space.[1]
Team StarKid Musicals
A Very Potter Musical
A Very Potter Sequel
A Very Potter Senior Year
Me and My Dick
Holy Musical B@man!
Ani: A Parody
The Trail to Oregon!
The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals
Black Friday
Nerdy Prudes Must Die