This article is about the song. You may be looking for the musical, the soundtrack or the Kickstarter campaign.
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The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals is the first song from The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals sung by the full cast excluding Jon Matteson. It is the first track on the cast album and was written by Jeff Blim.
Lyrics[]
Ensemble:
Ooh, ooh
Mr. Davidson (Ensemble):
The greatest stories ever told (Ooh...)
Have a hero who must be bold (Ooh...)
They learn a sense of right and wrong (Ooh...)
And better learn the sense through song (Ooh...)
Charlotte (Ensemble):
Musicals tell the impossible (impossible)
They evoke the philosophical, yeah!
Ted:
So tonight we’re gonna chronicle
A story so astronomical
All:
The last remaining story to tell
Mr. Davidson (Ensemble):
The guy who didn’t like musicals (didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
(Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em I mean, what the fuck!)
(didn’t like, did not like, like-a-like 'em)
He's the guy who didn’t like musicals (didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
(Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Yeah, what the fuck?
(didn’t like, did not like, like-a-like 'em)
Bill:
In the tiny town of Hatchetfield
Lived an awful grinch named Paul
Melissa:
Spends his day surfing the web
And not singing and dancing with us all
All:
Should we kill him?
Should we kill him?
Emma:
Oh, he pines after a cute lil' barista
Isn’t that worth a show-stopping fiesta, yeah?
Professor Hidgens:
But for some damn reason
He won’t join our singing season
Mr. Davidson, Bill, Melissa:
What an ass!
Mr. Davidson, Bill, Melissa, Charlotte, Emma:
What a bitch!
All:
What a cuck!
Mr Davidson (Ensemble):
The guy who didn’t like musicals (didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
(Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
I mean, what the fuck!
(didn’t like, did not like, like-a-like 'em)
He's the guy who didn’t like musicals, na-na-na-na-na-na-na (didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na (didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
(Didn’t like, did not like, like-a-like 'em)
It’s the end of the world, Paul (end of the world)
If you don’t sing (if you don't sing)
Melissa (Ensemble):
This is the bridge, Paul (this is the bridge)
Where we globalize everything
Professor Hidgens:
And the words will come to you
We swear we will teach you
All:
What it means to love
What it means to obey, Paul!
Mr. Davidson, spoken:
The apotheosis is upon us
All, spoken:
Yay!
Mr. Davidson (Ensemble):
Did you hear the word?
(What's the word?)
Mr Davidson, Charlotte:
He’s a-comin'
Ensemble:
Who’s a-comin'?
Mr. Davidson, Charlotte:
Paul’s a-comin'
Ensemble:
Paul’s a-comin'?
All:
The star of the show
Ted:
Now for his headlining entrance
Emma, Charlotte:
Time to swoon at his leading man essence
Bill, Professor Hidgens:
His name is in the title
Mr. Davidson, Melissa:
He’s destined to go viral
Here he is, his name is Paul
All:
Enter now!
Mr. Davidson, spoken:
Where the fuck is he?
Bill, spoken:
I have no fucking clue
Mr. Davidson, (Women) [Men]:
The guy just doesn’t like musicals (didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
[You gotta believe in something, Paul, gotta believe in stupid Paul]
Yeah! (didn’t like, didn’t like, didn’t like-a-like 'em)
(Didn’t like, did not like, like-a-like 'em)
[gotta believe in something, Paul, you piece of shit]
He's the guy who didn’t like musicals (didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Na-na-na-na-na-na! [gotta believe in something, Paul, gotta believe in stupid Paul]
(Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Na-na-na-na-na-na! (didn’t like, did not like, like-a-like 'em)
Whoo! [gotta believe in something, Paul, you piece of shit]
Mr. Davidson, (Women except Emma), [Men], {Emma}:
And he definitely won't like this! (didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Yeah, yeah, yeah! [gotta believe in something, Paul, gotta believe in stupid Paul]
(Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
(Didn’t like, did not like, like-a-like them) [gotta believe in something, Paul, you piece of shit]
He's the guy who didn't like musicals (didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em){why, oh, why, oh why}
Na-na-na-na-na-na! [gotta believe in something, Paul, gotta believe in stupid Paul]
(Didn’t like, didn’t like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Na-na-na-na-na-na! (didn’t like, did not like, like-a-like them)
[Gotta believe in something...]{why oh why}
All:
Paul, you piece of shit